The Tao of Tidying Up: What we really learned from Marie Kondo
Do you read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo? Remember all the jokes that came later about minimalism and how you were only allowed to have one log in the middle of your room that symbolized your relationship with your mother? I was recently reminded that it was pretty damn revolutionary at the time, and remains so.
Marie Kondo, with her precious little square-folded tshirts and all the sparks of joy she asked that we feel, was really teaching us some of the basic principles of Buddhism and Taoism - non-attachment. All the things you have, they’re just things. They don’t carry weight in your emotional life, and they certainly cannot bring you enlightenment. When she asked us to hold that necklace you got in high school or the giraffe statue from HomeGoods and ask if they spark joy, she opened the door in many of our minds to the idea that joy, ananda, gaude, the elation that we all seek, that maybe it can’t be found in STUFF. And maybe, just maybe, it’s holding us back from being our best selves. This may happen by taking up our time as we shop, taking up our emotional energy as we worry about the safety of the valuable STUFF we have accumulated, or by taking up our money that could be spent enriching our lives or the lives of others.
The heart of the KonMari method is not having cute little boxes to hide away all your STUFF so that it looks neat, but in having less STUFF to put away at all. It’s not about drawer dividers, its about having less stuff in the drawers. It’s not about having under-sink storage solutions, it’s about only buying what you need when you’re out of what you already have. I grew up with Martha Stewart Living and Real Simple magazines all over - I am a sucker for a “quick fix for clutter” or “10 cheap solutions for a messy laundry room.” But all of these home organization, life-hacking, photogenic under-sink cabinet promises miss the point: you can’t buy happiness.
We’re just past the primary consumerism holiday of the Western world, and now, in the dark depths of winter gloom, we’re about to be dumped headlong into the next. It ain’t fair, but that’s capitalism. For the next month, everywhere you look, you’re going to be told what you NEED to be happy. What you need to buy, eat, wear, put in your house to make your life better. We live in a culture that relies on a one-two punch: make you feel like crap (“LOOK WHAT A SLOB YOU ARE”) and then selling you the thing to fix it (“buy this makeup” or “buy this workout regimen” or “buy this closet organizer”) and somehow, there’s still a lot of unhappy people.
That’s why KonMari was so revolutionary. She was trying to break our cycle of being unhappy with the things we have and then buying things to make us more happy. By keeping things that “spark joy,” we are surrounded by things that are special to us and make our life better. If there is less STUFF as a result, then you also get the added benefit of having more energy, money, and time to do other things.
In a culture that profits from your unhappiness, loving yourself is an act of rebellion. So instead of buying the bullshit they’re selling, take a moment and be grateful to your body for all that it has done, celebrate all the dreams that you are bringing into reality, and sing loud songs for the breath that comes without question. You have everything you need (and probably more).
P.S. There’s also been a lot of push-back on the KonMari method that I think should be addressed. People went crazy, throwing things out (some recycled or donated, but let’s not overlook the chance that a lot of stuff went to landfills) and then a month later realized they did actually need something they threw out, and went on to repurchase. A HUGE part of the way we teach and talk about the Kondo Method should be pared with low-waste, reusable, sustainable, or biodegradable replacements when necessary. Ditching a nasty plastic scrub brush? Replace with a coconut fiber one. Getting rid of a cheap sweater? Invest in a slow-fashion alternative.
And, as always, remember the Buyerarchy of Needs and check out THIS POST for the low-waste, sustainable swaps I’ve implemented in my own life.
